Welcome to Diary of an Introverted Author. My name is Bobbie Lou and I’m the author of three published novels. Desperate Girls, Baby Pawn and my newest release For You, I would. All are available on Amazon.com. My novella, Only One Way Out will be available on Amazon this month. I will post the link as soon as I have it. I shared an excerpt from it in the blog last week. If you are interested, please check it out.
This is the Page One podcast… The space where I discuss the mistakes that I’ve made as a new writer, as well as other writer/author related topics. An update: moving forward I will separate the Page One series from the regular platform. Once I’m able to create a new section, you will be included in both, but you will have an opportunity to opt out (unsubscribe) from the one you are not interested in. So, essentially, Page One will be the podcast and Real Stories, with a Twist will be a platform for my readers. It will be the blog (newsletter) with voiceover. There is nothing for you to do at this point. I will advise once it is complete.
In the last Page One episode, we talked about failing to start writing some things that can contribute to completing a book. In this episode, it’s a similar issue that can delay or prevent us from making progress. Today, we are discussing perfectionism, comparison, and expectations. Any of those three things can get us off track, or stuck, unable to move forward.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the act of striving to be flawless… or perfect. It usually involves being critical of mistakes. I’ve mentioned in other podcasts how I grappled with that. I have resolved to let things go, simply because if I don’t, I will never get out of the cycle I find myself in. It comprises of sitting on things as I tinker to make them perfect. Letting them go is not a lazy way or an easy way out. I have a checklist of items that need to be marked off before I make a move to let it go and with those areas where I struggle; I tug on my resources. My goal is always to put out the very best work possible, however, I realize that the need to be perfect causes me to get stuck. Working with my checklist, once I’ve achieved everything, if I still don’t think it’s ready, I sit with it for a bit. Sometimes I pass it on to someone else for another opinion. Then… if nothing comes of it, I decide to let it go.
Perfectionism looks different for everyone. For me, it gets me stuck, traveling in the same circle, over and over. For others, it might cause self-doubt, procrastination or writer’s block.
What can help when dealing with the issue of perfectionism:
Understand how it plays out for you and realize its ability to paralyze you or steal your creativity.
Embrace the learning curve. Writing is a journey which will look different for everyone. Learning and growing as a writer will continue throughout the journey. The more we learn, the better we will write. *Making mistakes is part of the learning process.
Find value in your imperfection. We are all imperfect. It’s what makes us human… and relatable.
Silence the inner critic. Silence that inner voice that is negative, critical and often unhelpful. To do this, use visualization techniques, positive affirmations, and give yourself grace.
Set realistic goals and celebrate progress.
Comparison
The next topic I want to discuss is comparison. This is one of those things that I don’t have an issue with anymore, however I have experienced it in my past. This is where we compare ourselves to others not understanding or knowing what their journey looked like. We’re all different, as are the reasons we write. We come from different backgrounds, with unique experiences and different goals. Usually, with comparison, you walk away feeling as if you’re not enough because you don’t have the monetary, social, physical success as the other person. We don’t have the privilege to see behind the scenes to learn what their journey looked like. Often, we only see what people allow us to see. And most of us want others to see the best of us, so it’s easy to observe something and not know the hard work, or failures before the success.
Comparing ourselves to others can create a distorted perspective which leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. And what we’re looking at is an illusion because again, we don’t know their background or what their journey looked like.
Some ways we can combat comparison:
Define what personal success means to you.
Get involved in a supportive community that is healthy…where you have shared goals and positive feedback.
Be mindful enough to know when you are comparing yourself to others (which requires you to understand your emotions)
Give yourself grace…. You Are Enough.
Managing Expectations
The last topic I like to discuss is managing expectations. Understanding what your goal is, what you’re working with, and your why. But also knowing the process and the business side. There’s a lot of different areas where we can get off track because of our expectations. It can be about any part of the writing process (before, during, or after). As writers, we can hold expectations throughout the entire process. It could be deciding to write, finding the time, whether you plot or pants, editing, marketing… anything and everything.
If we fall prey to unrealistic expectations, we risk disappointment, burnout, missed opportunities, stagnation… ultimately it can affect our progress.
What can help?
Setting realistic goals.
Understand the landscape… What are you working with and what is the expectation? It’s important to be honest with yourself about what is realistic and what might be wishful thinking.
Look at the writing process timeline in its entirety. As you move through each phase, keep track of how long you take so the next time around you know what to expect and can manage your time better.
Embrace the journey. There are going to be things you can’t change on this journey, but if you want to be a writer or an author, you need to learn how to adjust.
And I’ve said it before…
Celebrate the wins (big and small)
Surround yourself with a community of like-minded individuals.
The Bottom Line: If you want it, you can have it… You can get there with hard work, knowing what your end goal is and planning.
Live, breathe and love what’s in your heart… and WRITE the story!
Where to Find Me!
Are you interested in being a Beta Reader or an ARC Reader? Let me know!
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